KATIE HOPKINS: Theresa was too Remain for my tastes, too tolerant, too grey and, yes, too childless. But do you know what? Maybe she is EXACTLY what we need
Theresa May? I mean, really. Theresa May. As Prime Minister.
I know. After the last few weeks in British politics anything seems possible doesn't it? It wouldn't surprise me if Tess Daly announced she was the new Tzar of Being Interesting or Phil Schofield standing as something other than a camp side-kick to an enormous pair of Thrupennies.
But it's true. A woman more grey than John Major is now in charge of our country. The supply teacher suddenly made Headmistress.
After a bloody battle for the Conservative party leadership, Theresa May is the last one standing and will today become Prime Minister, taking over from David Cameron
May, pictured with her husband, won the battle after her opponent Andrea Leadsom bowed out of the race following a row over controversial comments she made about May not having children.
Despite feeling disillusioned post-Brexit; enduring the nauseating bleating of liberals, mourning the withdrawal of Boris, yelling to hear a second referendum will be debated in Parliament, I have a grimacing respect for Grey May.
Yet she represents so many things I can't stand.
She campaigned - albeit quietly - for Remain. Following her out of Europe feels a bit like following my first husband up the aisle, resulting in massive disappointment and years of acrimony.
During a Home Office investigation set up to examine the 'mis-use' of Sharia Law, Grey May claimed many Britons benefitted a great deal from Sharia Law. Well buy me a Burkini and call me beach body ready! Grey May already shows signs of pandering to Islamic Justice, which has no place in modern Britain.
And her track record is as dodgy as a Russian athlete's. Lecturing our police whilst failing our white girls in Rotherham. Under-investing in our Border Force Fleet whilst blowing £220 million on a new Border Agency IT system declared 'not fit for purpose' on implementation.
Andrea Leadsom giving a statement in London on Monday announcing she would pull out of the Conservative leadership race
And despite the massive row that did for Leadsom over whether being a mum makes you a better candidate for Number Ten, I have to admit Grey May does look like a woman who keeps cats. No surprise then that she gets to keep the Chief-Mouser at Downing Street, Larry.
Childless women over 45 are a curious thing. Somehow of the other; a bit like grown men who still like Star Wars, Mary Beard, men with Cuban heels. Lacking a human connection.
But these are scars she wears with pride.
Childless, her husband has remained loyally at her side, a lifelong supporter, her constancy. And any woman who can inspire such devotion must be more exciting than her freshly pressed flannelette pyjamas suggest.
She has faced down the Annual Gathering of the Police Officers Convention, been booed offstage in an age where all politicians want to be loved. She has survived calls for her to resign. And has endured.
The longest serving Secretary of State for the Home Office, Grey May has been on the sharp end of politics for longer than John Major was PM. Imagine the wrath she has faced. The hate she has let glance off her skin. The tenacity of her tenure.
And as for her tolerance of other cultures, perhaps it is emblematic of the attitude we need at the helm to take Great Britain forward. More fractured than at any time in modern history, perhaps this country is finally war weary and tired of fighting. Perhaps we need someone prepared to look for unity, and accept take comes with give.
Boris (left), fatally stabbed. Gove (right), detonated by his own hand. Theresa May has emerged as the winner from a very bloody leadership race
Following the announcement of her leadership, the markets rallied, Brexiteers took consolation from her promise - 'Brexit means Brexit' - and the disillusioned went off to join UKIP, a party with no current leader and no likely looking leader.
Without it's favourite agitator, UKIP is just 'Leave after we Left', headed up by Dodgy Douglas the Deserter.
Brexit finally has certainty. Even if that certainty is Grey May who wanted to Stay. And we have already started on the road to recovery. Recuperating. Like a sick patient.
And all around others continue to take a battering. Angela Eagle, bricked in her constituency office, abandoned by the press pack, threatened with death. David Lammy MP summoning police support. Corbyn, mutilated by his peers, limping into the arms of the Trade Union, on life support.
Boris, fatally stabbed. Gove, detonated by his own hand. Crabb boiled. Fox, hunted down. Leadsom, like a rabbit in the headlights, startled by the gruesome sight of body parts splattered all over Westminster and worried her own would be next.
I walked out of the freezing Celtic sea today, in my attempts to numb my aching head from the noise of it all. On the sand someone had scrawled 'K HOPKINS IS A MASSIVE RACIST' in letters a metre tall.
A cafe in town invites those who voted Leave to take their custom elsewhere.
And I pondered my place in it all.
While superstar Boris Johnson bowed out of the race, Theresa May has stood strong. It is no coincidence the last man standing is a childless woman
If this is what follows me, out of the sea, on a beach at the very tiptoe of our country - imagine the courage it takes to stand strong and lead our country when all around have kept their heads down or waved the white flags of surrender; Farage, Boris, Leadsom.
I am happy to give as good as I get. This fishing community deserved its waters back. I stand with the 52%. I have my say. They have a right to theirs.
But not one of our Brexit leaders was prepared to hang around and face the fight. None of them needed threats and fear in their families' lives. Boris, Farage, Leadsom, they all took cover. Theresa May is standing strong.
Perhaps being childless has made her a little bit invincible.
Walking over Cornish sands with my children I understand, perhaps for the first time, she has no Achilles heel. My one weakness, her strength. Nothing can get to her.
So I look to Number Ten today with fresh eyes and salute Theresa May. It is no coincidence the last man standing is a childless woman.
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