Dear Bunmi,
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 20 years and we have two children whom he takes full responsibility for. We’ve discussed marriage but he says with the high rate of divorce and the experience he’s had living in a polygamous home, he doesn’t want the hassle of a divorce if we ever split up. Everyone around me is married, but my man simply refuses. I feel so rejected, we don’t live together.
Do you think he’s using me? Felicia, by e-mail
Dear Felicia, Your man is not using you; he has stayed with you for almost 20 years. But he is obviously terrified of feeling trapped. Don’t worry that he doesn’t love you – he prefers not to live with anyone and polygamous experiences could be quite. harrowing for some of the children – and this reflects the way they behave in future relationships. Don’t get upset because everyone else is married – wait a few years. Either finish things now before you get more hurt, or accept the situation. If you decide to stick with your man, concentrate on the positive side of your relationship, rather than the fact you haven’t got a ring on your finger.
In addition to Bunmi's view, I don't know your religious inclination but if your name, Felicia is anything to go by, possibly you are a Christian. If you are, based on the Holy Bible you are living in immorality, so the first thing to do is to repent and ask God for forgiveness. Second, leave that relationship immediately if he is not willing to go to your parents and have everything done the right way right away. Remain so until he does the right things or go ahead and get married the right way to someone else who loves you. Understand, it might be painful but eternal pains are more painful that this ephemeral ones. Thank you and God bless you. - Blogger
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